We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

by Samantha Irby

Narrated by Samantha Irby

Unabridged — 9 hours, 17 minutes

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

by Samantha Irby

Narrated by Samantha Irby

Unabridged — 9 hours, 17 minutes

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Overview

“The second book of essays from this frank and madly funny blogger.... A sidesplitting polemicist for the most awful situations.”-The New York Times, Summer Reading Pick

Sometimes you just have to laugh, even when life is a dumpster fire.

With We Are Never Meeting in Real Life., “bitches gotta eat” blogger and comedian Samantha Irby turns the serio-comic essay into an art form. Whether talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets, explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette-she's "35-ish, but could easily pass for 60-something"-detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father's ashes, sharing awkward sexual encounters, or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms-hang in there for the Costco loot-she's as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

A New York Times Critics Top Book of the Year

“The second book of essays from this frank and madly funny blogger.... A sidesplitting polemicist for the most awful situations.”—Janet Maslin, The New York Times, Summer Reading Pick

“A memoir of the life of a sardonic, at times awkward, at times depressed black woman with Crohn’s (an inflammatory-bowel disease) and degenerative arthritis.... Her acerbic, raw honesty on the page — often punctuated with all-caps comic parenthetical asides — unflinchingly recounts experiences such as the humiliating intrusion of explosive diarrhea on romantic and borderline-romantic interludes.” —Kera Bolonik, New York Magazine

"Irby is one of our country’s most fierce and foulmouthed authors, whose literary takes on sex, family, and the body are unique in their comedic resonance and full gut-punch power. The best thing about this book, and all of her writing, is that the reader is made to feel like they are taking a master class from their best friend, and you feel right at home with Irby’s stories and points of view while also being completely in awe of her craft and wit." —Amber Tamblyn, Vulture
 
“Irby...is so authentic, entertaining, and fearless, funny seems too concise a word to describe stepping inside her thoughts for a couple hundred pages. Her writing is both confident and self-deprecating and will strike readers in that perfectly relatable space between glorious confidence and average self-doubt. Essays about how much she despises her cat and an ill-timed gastronomical adventure are mind-blowingly hilarious, as are her musings on the great outdoors, her hypothetical Bachelor application, and Zumba. Other pieces, especially those involving her mostly-absent alcoholic father and her mother’s battle with multiple sclerosis are so vulnerable and fearless that they’ll stop you in your tracks. Irby doesn’t shy away from anything, and her brand of honesty is the kind that can inspire new writers and attract legions of loyal readers dying to meet her in real life.” —Molly Labell, BUST
 
“Essayist Samantha Irby is my very favorite sort of writer: stunningly direct, wildly hilarious, breathtakingly honest and, best of all, imminently relatable.”—Heidi Stevens, Chicago Tribune

“From the blogger behind Bitches Gotta Eat comes a seriocomic essay collection that will have you crying from laughter and then just crying. A boisterous medley of awkward sex, pop culture obsession and coming-of-age.”—Oprah.com
 
"A nearly perfect collection of essays: Irby is hilarious and poignant and human, and she knows how to tell a damn good story."—A.V. Club

“Turn off the TV, let the dishes pile up, pull on your most comfy pair of sweats and settle into your reading chair. You’re going to be there awhile.”—Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

“I love Samantha Irby’s writing.... Read the whole thing.”—The Billfold
 
“Besides having one of the season's best covers...Irby's new collection of essays is an often riotously funny, unflinching, and never not provocative look into her life. Irby tackles difficult topics, like her estrangement from her father and how growing up in poverty has lifelong repercussions, including making it impossible to understand how to do things like ‘save for a rainy day.’.... Irby writes about the ways in which our society is so focused on aspirational living, that it neglects the people who are just trying to survive. But the book is never preachy, rather it is skillful in its ability to reveal the essential realities of how so many of us live and dream and hope and fail, in ways that are inimitably our own.”—NYLON

"Samantha Irby is my favorite living writer. Actually, I’ll throw in the dead ones too. Screw you, Herman Melville.” —Lindy West, author of Shrill

Reading Samantha Irby’s We Are Never Meeting In Real Life cracked my heart all the way open. The essays in this outstanding collection are full of her signature humor, wit, and charming self-deprecation but there is so much more to her writing. For every laugh, there is a bittersweet moment that could make you cry. From black women and mental health to the legacies created by poverty to dating while living in an all too human body, Irby lays bare the beautiful, uncompromising truths of her life. I cannot remember the last time I was so moved by a book. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is as close to perfect as an essay collection can get.” —Roxane Gay, New York Times bestselling author of Difficult Women and Bad Feminist

"This book didn't make me laugh out loud. It made me laugh silently, wheezing and crying, until my sides ached." —Rainbow Rowell, New York Times bestselling author of Eleanor & Park

“Sometimes Samantha Irby’s writing will make you want to hug her. Sometimes it will make you want to be hugged by her. Sometimes it will make you want to lock her in your closet so you might take credit for this hysterical, honest and authentic book. The last one might just be me.” –Jenny Lawson, “The Bloggess” and bestselling author of Furiously Happy
 
“Get ready to do that thing where you go from laughing hysterically to sobbing uncontrollably, because those two emotional states have never been closer. Irby's writing—about sex, death, disability, garlic scapes—is so relentlessly funny, the gravity and deeply generous vulnerability of it can sneak up on you.”—Kate Harding, author of Asking for It

“There is simply no one like Samantha Irby. Reading her is emotional whiplash; you are crying laughing and then crying and then so deeply moved that you don't know what you are. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is life as written by blood and viscera and fluids and heart, a near to bursting bright red, beating throbbing fighting heart. If the world is a dumpster fire, then this book is the cache of fireworks that shoots out of the flames and lights up the night. You're shocked and kind of worried for your well-being, but you're also laughing too hard to do anything about it.” —Lindsay Hunter, author of Ugly Girls

Kirkus Reviews

2017-03-21
A blogger (Bitches Gotta Eat) has to laugh to keep from crying—or maybe killing somebody—in this collection of essays from the black, full-figured female perspective.The second collection of essays by Irby (Meaty, 2013) explores what it means to be "fat and black." Though she has an active and diverse sex life, the author seems to prefer staying home with her cat, with whom she's "trapped in this mutually abusive codependent relationship." She watches a lot of TV and eats a lot of junk food while watching junk TV. She prefers writing jokes for online consumption rather than interacting with so-called real people in the so-called real world. "People are boring and terrible," she writes. "I am boring and terrible. My funny runs out, my cute runs out, my smart sometimes hiccups, my sexy wakes up with uncontrollable diarrhea. I have an attitude. And a sharp edge!" Irby shows her sharp edge throughout a collection that touches on topics ranging from the potential pros and cons of living in a small town, her employment adventures at an animal hospital, her upbringing with an alcoholic, abusive father and the mother he exploited, her preoccupation with death, and her unpredicted path to lesbian marriage. She responds to a pre-marriage questionnaire that asks, "how important is sex to you?" with "Is there such a thing as ‘the opposite of important?'….Hopefully lesbian bed death is real and not another unattainable fantasy the Internet has lied to me about, like poreless skin." Though the collection is uneven, and many of the pieces strain for effect, some are very funny, some of them ring painfully true, and the best do both. Consider the essay about what happens when all of Irby's friends have reached the birthing and raising children stages, and she has no experience around kids: "I forget when they're within earshot and say mean things about dead people or recount in excruciating detail the highlights of my most recent gynecological exam." Personal embarrassment provides plenty of material for in-print or online entertainment.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940169064209
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Publication date: 05/30/2017
Edition description: Unabridged
Sales rank: 491,993

Read an Excerpt

My Bachelorette Application
(Continues…)



Excerpted from "We Are Never Meeting in Real Life."
by .
Copyright © 2017 Samantha Irby.
Excerpted by permission of Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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