The Hiking Book From Hell

by Are Kalvø, Lucy Moffatt (Translator)

Overview

For fans of Bill Bryson and David Sedaris comes an anti-nature memoir that will resonate with anyone who would rather stay inside with a book than venture into the mountains, from one of Scandinavia’s biggest comedians.

“A smart, funny and honest exposé of the cult of the outdoors, from the sublime to the ridiculous.”—Foreword Reviews

Sometime around his forties, Are Kalvø starts losing his friends… to the mountains. Friends who used to meet him at the pub are now hiking and skiing every weekend, and when they do show up, all they talk about is feeling at one with nature (without a hint of irony). When Are realizes he’s the only person who hasn’t posted a selfie on a mountain, he starts to wonder: does he have it all wrong?

To find out, Are buys some ridiculously expensive gear and heads into the woods. The result of his sardonic trek is at once a smart and funny take-down of outdoors culture, and a reluctant surrender to nature’s undeniable pull. An adventure, a comedy, and a tragedy, The Hiking Book from Hell is destined to become a nature writing (and nature hating) classic.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781771645850
Publisher:	Greystone Books
Publication date:	05/31/2022
Pages:	328
Sales rank:	313,014
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.80(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Are Kalvø is one of Norway's leading comedians and satirists who has worked in standup for over twenty-five years. He has produced prize-winning musicals, reviews, an opera, and almost a dozen books. He often writes about things he doesn't know much about. This is the first time that he is also writing about something he doesn't understand.

Table of Contents

That's Not It 1

Things I Don't Understand 21

Indoor Mountains and Popcorn on the Campfire 37

1st Attempt 52

To Jotunheimen in Search of Salvation

Last Night of Freedom 54

From the City to the Forest, Hour by Hour 66

Farewell to Logistics 87

Communal Supper in Underwear 92

To the Top 104

Communal Achievement in Underwear 131

Listen to Inexperienced Mountain Folk, Part 1 144

Signs You Ought to Find in the Mountains 146

Evaluation of Food and Drink for Use on Hikes 147

The Return of "The Happy Wanderer" 149

Listen to Inexperienced Mountain Folk, Part 2 166

Into the Light! 167

So How Did You Feel About It? 174

1st Attempt: To Jotunheimen in Search of Salvation. Evaluation. 176

I Explore Myself and My City 180

2nd Attempt 199

To the Hardanger Plateau in Search of People

Jam-packed and Deadly Dangerous 201

The Art of Losing a Japanese Tourist 217

Where Old Food Goes to Die 227

Liquor and Cigarillos 243

Imaginary Wilderness 261

Man or Mouse? 276

Glossary 290

Listen to inexperienced Mountain Folk, Part 3 291

White People Talking About Blisters 292

Sources, Digressions, and Extra Information for Nerds 305

Editorial Reviews

"The Hiking Book from Hell is a smart, funny, and honest exposé of the cult of the outdoors, from the sublime to the ridiculous."
—Foreword Reviews

"It takes a uniquely talented satirist to hold a mirror to our very serious hobbies and point out that they are actually kind of ridiculous, but Kalvø is able to do so in such a way to make anyone chuckle. He's just that talented.”
—Jason Hayes, humor writer

“The Hiking Book From Hell offers exactly what everyone wants in a reading experience. There’s adventure. There’s bad weather. There’s philosophy. There’s shopping. But mostly there’s the lively wit of Are Kalvø.”
—J. Maarten Troost, author of The Sex Lives of Cannibals

“Startlingly insightful and all-too-relatable. If you hike, buy this book. I could not stop laughing.”
—Diana Helmuth, author of How to Suffer Outside

“A funny and relatable memoir about the uncanny and eventually irresistible pull of the great outdoors, even on those of us who thought we were inoculated by big-city sensibilities, irony, and impractical footwear.”
—Charles Demers, comedian, and author of Property Values and Primary Obsessions

“Humorous and engaging, The Hiking Book from Hell will resonate with anyone who hated summer camp, whose natural habitat does not include fleece clothing, and who is a late (or reluctant) arrival to the trail or the slopes. You’ll be humming 'The Happy Wanderer' and reaching for your backpack.”
—Jane Christmas, author of Open House: A Life in Thirty-two Moves and What the Psychic Told the Pilgrim

From the Publisher