Table of Contents
Introduction Lisa 1
Perking Up Lisa 5
We're Having a Baby! Francesca 9
Spot On Lisa 14
Recipe Ambition Lisa 18
Our Ladies of Perpetual Motion Lisa 22
New Year's Meh Francesca 26
Lift and Separate Lisa 30
The Off Switch Lisa 33
Becoming Thirty Francesca 37
Mother Mary and the Eyebrow Lisa 41
Moo Lisa 46
Barking up the Wrong Tree Francesca 50
Question Authority Lisa 55
Something We Can All Agree On Lisa 59
Topsy-Turvy Francesca 63
Adventures in Herpetology Lisa 67
The Scent of a Woman Lisa 71
Pay the Troll Francesca 75
Ball o' Fun Lisa 79
Going Where the Weather Suits My Clothes Lisa 83
Brain Freeze Francesca 87
Leave a Tip Lisa 91
Scrambled Eggs Lisa 95
Anniversary Francesca 99
Batter Up! Lisa 104
Diaper Genie Lisa 108
One-Piece of Mind Francesca 113
World Police Lisa 117
Good Morning! Lisa 121
Blond and Blonder Francesca 126
Potted Lisa 130
Happy Birthday Lisa 135
Pushed Around Lisa 138
Beach Bums Francesca 143
Work Zoned Lisa 148
The American Dream Lisa 152
The View from the Ferry Francesca 156
For the Win Lisa 161
Back to School Lisa 168
Girl Vitamin Francesca 171
Which Spices Would You Take to a Kitchen Island? Lisa 175
Legends of the Fall Lisa 179
Political Partisan Seeks Same Francesca 183
Twelve Hundred of My Closest Friends Lisa 187
Running on Empty Francesca 192
If You're a Woman, They Only Want One Thing Lisa 195
Mother Mary Gets an Idea Lisa 199
Picture Imperfect Francesca 202
iPhonatic Lisa 207
Home Is Where the Bra Comes Off, Part 2 Lisa 210
On Guyatus Francesca 214
Suburban Story Lisa 219
I Like Big Brains and I Cannot Lie Lisa 223
High Note Francesca 227
Collect Them All Lisa 231
It's a Boy! Lisa 235
Remote Control Freak Lisa 239
The Bridal Shower 2.0 Francesca 243
House Dreams Lisa 248
SuperLisa Lisa 251
Hi, My Name Is Francesca 255
Netflixxed Lisa 260
Like a Rolling Book Lisa 265
Sniff Test Francesca 269
Pasta Impasse Lisa 273
Let's Twist Again Lisa 277
Don't Bot with My Heart Francesca 281
Built Ford Tough Lisa 285
Weeding Lisa 288
Keep Calm and Carry On Lisa 292
Drunk Click Francesca 295
The Bottom Line on the Bottom-of-the-Line Lisa 299
Acknowledgments 305