For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

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Overview

The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition.

With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone.

So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781250110213
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Publication date: 03/07/2017
Pages: 144
Sales rank: 525,469
Product dimensions: 4.90(w) x 6.70(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

About The Author
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor writer whose columns and essays have appeared in hundreds of newspapers over the past thirty-five years. He has also written a number of New York Times bestselling humor books, including Dave Barry's Bad Habits and Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex.

Hometown:

Miami, Florida

Date of Birth:

July 3, 1947

Place of Birth:

Armonk, New York

Education:

B.A. in English, Haverford College, 1969

Table of Contents

Introduction
A Note to Parents
A Note to Grandparents
A Note to Episcopalians
Preparing for the Seder
Discussion Questions for "Preparing for the Seder"
The Seder Plate
The Seder Checklist
We Light the Candles
The Seder Has a Special Order
The First Cup of Wine
We Wash Our Hands
We Break the Middle Matzah
The Four Children
Discussion Questions for "The Four Children"
The Passover Story
Discussion Questions for "The Passover Story"
The Ten Plagues
Discussion Questions for "The Ten Plagues"
Crossing the Sea
The Story of Passover: Deleted Scenes
Wandering in the Desert and/or Wilderness
Manna from Heaven
The Ten Commandments
The Golden Calf
Discussion Questions for "The Golden Calf"
The Promised Land
The Passover Symbols
We Say the Blessing for Maror
We Eat a Sandwich of Matzah and Maror
Dayenu
We Eat the Festive Meal
The Third Cup
Waiting for Elijah
Discussion Questions for "Waiting for Elijah"
Echad Mi Yodea
Chad Gadya
We Complete the Seder

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