Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, Revised Edition: Hundreds of Ways to Say I Do

Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, Revised Edition: Hundreds of Ways to Say I Do

by Diane Warner
Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, Revised Edition: Hundreds of Ways to Say I Do

Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, Revised Edition: Hundreds of Ways to Say I Do

by Diane Warner

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Overview

Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, Revised Edition is the only book devoted solely to helping you prepare and personalize your vows so they are as unique and special as every other aspect of your wedding. The first Edition has sold more than 100,000 copies. It is one of the largest compilations of vows ever assembled, a practical user-friendly guide that helps couples compose personalized vows from the heart, vows that express their deep feelings of love and commitment to each other. Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows includes a wide variety of traditional wedding vows from countries and culture around the world, along with hundreds of personalized, nontraditional vows- those for second marriages, marriages of older couples, ceremonies of reaffirmation and wedding involving children from previous marriages. Vows with religious variations, those inspired by the classics (Elizabeth Barrett Browning, John Keats, Shakespeare and many others), even some devoted exclusively to rings are included. And, for the first time in this new edition: Theme wedding vows (including poignant Hand-Fasting ceremony vows and special vows for a Renaissance wedding) and a number of original vows submitted by Diane's many readers.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781564148162
Publisher: Red Wheel/Weiser
Publication date: 01/15/2006
Series: Wedding Essentials Series
Edition description: Revised
Pages: 224
Product dimensions: 5.25(w) x 8.25(h) x (d)

About the Author

Diane Warner is the best-selling author of 22 books, including Diane Warner's Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette, Complete Book of Wedding Toasts, Complete Book of Wedding Showers, Complete Book of Baby Showers, Diane Warner's Big Book of Parties and How to Have a Big Wedding on a Small Budget. Diane also writes for magazines, newspapers and Web sites. She is a popular speaker and radio and television guest. She has made over 100 national radio and television appearances and can be seen regularly on HGTV and The Discovery Channel. She lives in Tucson, Arizona with her author-husband, Jack.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

TRADITIONAL VOWS

Throughout history, traditional wedding vows have been structured out of time-honored societal and religious values. As recently as the 1950s, brides and grooms were willing to accept these traditional vows without question. In a sense, they willingly surrendered their union to the care and approbation of the larger community. This chapter gives many of these traditional vow phrasings from various faiths and nationalities.

* * *

In 1840, Queen Victoria wore a white wedding gown when she married Prince Albert. A few years later, French Empress Eugenie wore a white gown when she married Napoleon III. This was the beginning of the white dress tradition.

* * *

Jewish

No single set of rules applies to all Jewish weddings because of differences between the Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform branches of the faith. In fact, most individual rabbis and synagogues develop their own interpretations. In the Orthodox and Conservative wedding services, an ancient Aramaic vow is usually recited before the groom places the ring on his bride's finger. This ring vow also serves as the groom's wedding vow. In the Sephardic transliteration, it reads:

"Harey at mekuddeshet li B'taba 'at zo k'dat Moshe V'israel."

which means:

"Behold thou are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel."

In a double-ring ceremony, the bride presents a ring to her groom in the same way, reciting a slightly different vow.

* * *

During a Conservative service, these vows are often used, as taken from the Rabbinical Assembly Manual and published by the Rabbinical Assembly of America:

Rabbi (addressing the bridegroom): "Do you, ___________, take_________ to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, to honor and to cherish?"

Groom: "I do."

Rabbi (addressing the bride): "Do you, _________, take________ to be your lawful wedded husband to love, to honor and to cherish?"

Bride: "I do."

Rabbi (addressing the groom): "Then, ________, put this ring upon the finger of your bride and say to her: 'Be thou consecrated to me, as my wife, by this ring, according to the Law of Moses and of Israel.'"

The Rabbi then asks the bride to repeat the following:

"May this ring I receive from thee be a token of my having become thy wife according to the Law of Moses and of Israel."

If two rings are used, the bride may say:

"This ring is a symbol that thou art my husband in accordance with the Law of Moses and Israel."

* * *

In a Reformed service there is a distinctly separate wedding vow that is read by the rabbi and affirmed by both the bride and the groom:

"O God, supremely blessed, supreme in might and glory, guide and bless this groom and bride. Standing here in the presence of God, the Guardian of the home, ready to enter into the bond of wedlock, answer in the fear of God, and in the hearing of those assembled:

Do you, _________, of your own free will and consent, take this man/woman to be your wife/husband, and do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her/him throughout life?"

Groom/bride: "I do."

Reciting the Seven Blessings is also a traditional part of any Jewish marriage ceremony:

"You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God, who created the fruit of the vine.

"You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God. You created all things for Your glory.

"You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God. You created humanity.

"You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God. You made humankind in Your image, after Your likeness, and You prepared from us a perpetual relationship. You abound in Blessings, Adonai our God. You created humanity.

"May she who was barren rejoice when her children are united in her midst in joy. You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.

"You make these beloved companions greatly rejoice even as You rejoiced in Your creation in the Garden of Eden as of old. You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God, who makes the bridegroom and bride to rejoice.

"You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God, who created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love, fellowship, peace, and friendship. Soon may there be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voice of bridegrooms from their canopies and of youths from their feasts of song. You Abound in Blessings, Adonai our God. You make the bridegroom rejoice with the bride."

Roman Catholic

The Roman Catholic Church follows strict doctrinal traditions, including those pertaining to the marriage ceremony. Although adherence to these traditions may vary slightly according to each individual parish priest's interpretation, there is usually very little deviation from tradition. This is especially true when the vows are recited during a wedding mass. Here are two examples of generally acceptable vow phrasings:

"I, __________. take you, __________, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

or:

"I, _________. take you, __________, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

Eastern Orthodox

The churches of the Eastern Rite (including Greek and Russian Orthodox) are similar in some ways to the Roman Catholic Church. The marriage ceremony itself is a long ceremony rich with symbolism. An Orthodox wedding begins with a betrothal ritual that includes the Blessing and Exchange of Rings. The rings are exchanged between bride and groom three times to signify the Holy Trinity. At the close of this betrothal ritual, there is the Marriage Rite, including the Candles and the Joining of Hands, followed by the Crowning, the Cup and, finally, the Triumphal Procession of Isaiah. The vows themselves are spoken silently during this service, but the couple is considered married when the crowns are finally removed by the priest and he blesses them by saying:

"Be thou magnified, O bridegroom."

* * *

At a Dutch wedding, the bride's cake is often topped with a windmill, and the groom's cake is topped with a pair of wooden shoes.

* * *

Islam

It is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. A Muslim man however, may marry a non-Muslim woman. A traditional Muslim wedding requires a formal betrothal to take place, followed by the signing of the marriage contract, and then the wedding ceremony itself, where these vows are spoken:

Bride: "I, ____________, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Qur'an and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon Him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife."

Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."

Hindu

Hinduism is a religion native to India, broadly characterized by — among others — beliefs in reincarnation, a supreme being with many forms and natures, and a desire for liberation from earthly evils. Here is a modern-day interpretation of the traditionally strict Hindu wedding vows:

"Let us take the first steps to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living. Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental, and spiritual powers. Let us take the third step, to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use. Let us take the fourth step, to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust. Let us take the fifth step, so that we be blessed with strong, virtuous, and heroic children. Let us take the sixth step, for self-restraint and longevity. Finally, let us take the seventh step, and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."

The Hindu wedding ritual is extremely complex and is often performed under a bedi, or outdoor shrine. A priest, on behalf of the bride and groom, makes prayers and offerings, followed by ceremonial rituals, including four circlings around a sacred fire and the nuptial pole. Near the end of the ceremony, the priest ties the groom's sash to the bride's veil and the couple exchanges their wedding vows, which include these traditional Hindu phrasings from the ritual of Seven Steps:

"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the nights be honey-sweet for us; may the mornings be honey- sweet for us; may the earth be honey-sweet for us; may the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us; may the sun be all honey for us; may the cows yield us honey-sweet milk! As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."

Carpatho-Russian Orthodox

This is a sect within the Eastern Orthodox Church that allows spoken vows, as opposed to the traditional silent vows taken during most Eastern Orthodox wedding ceremonies. Carpatho-Russian Orthodox marriage ceremonies are quite formal.

"I, _________, take you, __________, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor, and respect; to be faithful to you; and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity, and all the Saints."

Buddhist

Buddhism is the predominant religion of eastern and central Asia, and is represented by many different sects that profess faith in the complex doctrines of Gautoma Buddha. This is an example of a traditional Buddhist marriage homily:

"In the future, happy occasions will come as surely as the morning. Difficult times will come as surely as night. When things go joyously, meditate according to the Buddhist tradition. When things go badly, meditate. Meditation in the manner of the Compassionate Buddha will guide your life. To say the words 'love and compassion' is easy. But to accept that love and compassion are built upon patience and perseverance is not easy."

* * *

In the Phillippines, a silken cord or string of flowers, also called a nuptial tie, is wound around the necks of the bride and groom.

* * *

Episcopalian

The Episcopalian Church in the United States is also known as the Protestant Episcopal Church, a body originally associated with the Church of England. The Episcopalian denomination tends to favor traditional worship services and wedding ceremonies. Here are two slightly different options that are appropriate for an Episcopalian wedding:

"In the Name of God, I_________, take you_________, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

An alternative Episcopalian vow is:

"I, __________, take thee, __________, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight/give thee my troth."

American Lutheran

The Lutheran Church was founded by Martin Luther during the Reformation of the 16th century. There are many types of Lutheran churches in America, some favoring traditional worship services, whereas others prefer a more contemporary style. However, all the various synods adhere to the religious teachings of Martin Luther. This is one traditionally accepted wedding vow:

"I take you, ___________, to be my husband/wife from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

Presbyterian

Although there are many types of Presbyterian churches, they all generally adhere to the religious doctrines of John Calvin, a 16th- century French theologian and religious reformer. As is true in the Lutheran church, Presbyterian churches vary greatly in their style of worship. In the case of a formal Presbyterian wedding ceremony, however, this is an example of an acceptable vow phrasing:

"I, __________, take you to be my wedded wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to beyour loving and faithful wife/husband, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."

Methodist

The Methodist Church in America is a Protestant, Christian denomination with theologies developed from the teachings of John and Charles Wesley. Their worship services, as well as their marriage ceremonies, vary greatly as to their degree of formality. Here is one traditionally accepted wedding vow:

"In the Name of God, I, _________, take you, __________, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

United Church of Christ

The United Church of Christ is a fairly new denomination in America, founded in 1957 by a merger between the Congregational Christian Church and the Evangelical and Reformed Church. In the present Book of Worship, published in 1986, their denomination's preferred wedding vows are stated, reflecting the important concept of giving one's self, as different from taking another. The United Church of Christ vows are:

"__________, I give myself to you to be your wife/husband. I promise to love and sustain you in the covenant of marriage, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live."

Unitarian

The Unitarian Church does not offer a standard service, but leaves the composition of the service to each of its ministers. Here are two examples, however, of typical Unitarian-Universalist wedding vows:

The minister asks the bride and groom: "___________, will you take_________ to be your husband/wife; love, honor and cherish him/her now and forevermore?"

The bride and groom answer: "I will."

Then the minister asks the bride and groom to repeat these words: "I, _________, take you, ________, to be my husband/wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always."

The minister asks the bride and groom: "________, will you have________ to be your husband/wife, to live together in creating an abiding marriage? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him/her in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, from this day forward?"

The bride and groom answer: "I will."

Quaker

A Quaker wedding is very simple, in keeping with the Quaker tradition. The marriage usually takes place during a regular worship meeting where all in attendance meditate silently while the bride and groom enter and join those already seated. Then, after the traditional Quaker silence, the bride and groom rise, join hands, face each other, and repeat these vows:

"In the presence of God and these our Friends I take thee to be my wife/husband, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife/husband so long as we both shall live."

The groom speaks his promises first; the bride follows. The bride is not given away, nor does a third person pronounce them married, for the Friends believe that only God can create such a union.

Nondenominational Protestant

There are hundreds of Protestant churches in America that are not affiliated with any particular denomination. Their styles of worship vary, as do their names. For example, you may see non- denominational churches with names such as "Valley Community Church" or "The Little Church in the Vale." Here are several examples of marriage vow phrasings commonly used by this type of church:

"Will you have this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

* * *

A very simple form of the traditional Protestant vow is in the form of a statement made by the minister:

"This celebration is the outward token of a sacred and inward union of the hearts which the Church does bless and the State makes legal ... a union created by loving purpose and kept by abiding will. Is it in this spirit and for this purpose that you have come here to be joined together?"

The bride and groom simply respond: "Yes, I have."

(Continues…)


Excerpted from "Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows Revised Edition"
by .
Copyright © 2006 Diane Warner.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION,
CHAPTER ONE Traditional vows,
CHAPTER TWO Nontraditional vows,
CHAPTER THREE Vows for second marriages,
CHAPTER FOUR Vows that include children,
CHAPTER FIVE Reaffirmation vows,
CHAPTER SIX Vows for older couples,
CHAPTER SEVEN Vows with religious variations,
CHAPTER EIGHT Ring vows,
CHAPTER NINE Vows inspired by the classics,
CHAPTER TEN Theme wedding vows,
CHAPTER ELEVEN Original vows,
EPILOGUE,
BIBLIOGRAPHY,
ALSO BY DIANE WARNER,
INDEX,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR,

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