Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

by Lily Bailey

Narrated by Lily Bailey

Unabridged — 5 hours, 52 minutes

Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

by Lily Bailey

Narrated by Lily Bailey

Unabridged — 5 hours, 52 minutes

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Overview

Written with the indelible power of Girl, Interrupted, Brain on Fire, and Reasons to Stay Alive, a lyrical, poignant memoir by a young woman about her childhood battle with debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.

By the age of thirteen, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she'd done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.

Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself-""I"" became ""we""-to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to ""normalizing"" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning-indeed, breaking through-to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.

Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before.


Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

★ 02/05/2018
London-based model and journalist Bailey offers an authentic and stunning account of her struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder in this beautifully-rendered memoir. Readers may initially wonder why the narrator often refers to herself as “we,” but will soon realize that the dueling voice inside Bailey’s head is an imaginary “friend” who reinforces intrusive thoughts, feeding into the author’s feelings of unworthiness. Bailey has a supportive family; though her parents divorce, they are committed to helping their daughter, who is diagnosed with OCD as a teen. Bailey does well in school (especially after receiving extra time for tests), but her interior dialogue is rife with worry and self-blame; it takes hours to fall asleep at night due to her analysis of intricate lists of perceived mistakes she’s made each day, along with her various routines (for example, tiptoeing into her sister’s room to see if she’s still breathing). Under the care of a psychiatrist, Bailey improves, but while attending college in Dublin she backslides and attempts suicide. Bailey is a vulnerable, vibrant, and courageous narrator. Daniel Lazar, Writers House. (Apr.)

From the Publisher

Lily Bailey is precocious.... she writes with a literary poise and a gift for mordant observation and self-deprecating humor that belie her youth. [Because We Are Bad is] one of the best [books] I have read on the phenomenology of OCD.”
Scott Stossel, the Washington Post

“A powerful and poignant memoir about identity, mental illness, and growing up, Because We Are Bad will take your breath away.” — Bustle

“Lily Bailey provides a searingly honest, brave, and beautifully written account of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, one of mental health’s most misinterpreted and misunderstood conditions in her work Because We Are Bad: OCD and A Girl Lost in Thought.” — Brooklyn Digest

“In her courageous book, [Bailey] offers compelling insight into the pain and destructive power of OCD as well as the resilience of a young woman determined to beat the odds. A harrowingly honest memoir of profound psychological struggle.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Bailey offers an authentic and stunning account of her struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder in this beautifully rendered memoir. Bailey is a vulnerable, vibrant, and courageous narrator.” — Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“Reminiscent of Girl, Interrupted and The Bell Jar, Bailey’s debut memoir is about living with a debilitating case of obsessive compulsive disorder and her hard-won journey to recovery.” — Purewow, Best of the Best April Books

“Bailey is unsparing in her well-written memoir of her struggles with OCD, giving readers an intimate experience of living with the disorder. Her account focuses much-needed light on a condition that demands to be better understood.” — Michael Cart, Booklist

“Bailey’s memoir is an insightful look into growing up with OCD and a great choice for readers of books such as Susanna Kaysen’s Girl Interrupted. By transporting readers into her world, she makes understandable the urgent and debilitating obsessions of her experience.” — Library Journal

“Extremely compelling... deeply personal.” — The Guardian

“Even though this raw and emotive story can be heart breaking at times, Lily is still wonderfully funny…. Because We Are Bad will grip you from the start and not only hold your interest, but urge you to read on. This debut memoir is one everyone should read.” — O’Fallon Public Library Blog

In Because We Are Bad, London-based journalist Lily Bailey upends those mischaracterizations of [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder] by beautifully exploring her own life…. Bailey is incredibly honest in her memoir, and in the process, she shows how common OCD is and why it’s important to understand the compulsions that plague those with the disorder. You never know who’s struggling with it. — Bitchreads, 15 Books Feminists Should Read in April

Michael Cart

Bailey is unsparing in her well-written memoir of her struggles with OCD, giving readers an intimate experience of living with the disorder. Her account focuses much-needed light on a condition that demands to be better understood.

Bustle

A powerful and poignant memoir about identity, mental illness, and growing up, Because We Are Bad will take your breath away.

The Guardian

Extremely compelling... deeply personal.

Best of the Best April Books Purewow

Reminiscent of Girl, Interrupted and The Bell Jar, Bailey’s debut memoir is about living with a debilitating case of obsessive compulsive disorder and her hard-won journey to recovery.

Brooklyn Digest

Lily Bailey provides a searingly honest, brave, and beautifully written account of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, one of mental health’s most misinterpreted and misunderstood conditions in her work Because We Are Bad: OCD and A Girl Lost in Thought.

O’Fallon Public Library Blog

Even though this raw and emotive story can be heart breaking at times, Lily is still wonderfully funny…. Because We Are Bad will grip you from the start and not only hold your interest, but urge you to read on. This debut memoir is one everyone should read.

Scott Stossel

Lily Bailey is precocious.... she writes with a literary poise and a gift for mordant observation and self-deprecating humor that belie her youth. [Because We Are Bad is] one of the best [books] I have read on the phenomenology of OCD.”

15 Books Feminists Should Read in April Bitchreads

In Because We Are Bad, London-based journalist Lily Bailey upends those mischaracterizations of [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder] by beautifully exploring her own life…. Bailey is incredibly honest in her memoir, and in the process, she shows how common OCD is and why it’s important to understand the compulsions that plague those with the disorder. You never know who’s struggling with it.

Editors Select April 2018 Audible

Fittingly, much of the memoir is actually told in the second person: as a child, Lily sees herself as not an “I” but a “we.” The result is an incredibly intimate experience wherein you come to know not only Lily herself, but the intrusive personality of her disorder…. I’m so impressed by the author’s candidness and perseverance, as well as her writing chops, and I hope to hear more of her story in the future.

Jenny Jaffe

Because We Are Bad was at times difficult for me to read because it felt like reading a journal I’d forgotten I’d written. Not only is it by far one of the most honest and accurate accounts of what it’s like to live with OCD that I’ve ever read, but it’s also inventively, compellingly written. A must-read for anyone who loves someone with OCD and wants to understand what it’s like to live in that person’s head.

Slate

Because We Are Bad [is] an expressive, droll, and evocative tale of mental illness. Bailey illustrates her adolescence, coloring it in with dreamy details and wry observations. Though the book is rife with her harrowing experiences... its overall effect is that of a late-night diner catch-up with a lovable friend. Bailey bares her soul, bouncing between distant dryness and overwhelming sincerity, and all you can do is keep listening while your coffee goes cold.

Kirkus Reviews

2018-01-08
A British model and writer's account of how she learned to live with obsessive-compulsive disorder.As a child, the author privately referred to herself as "we." However, the girl that "shared" Bailey's mind was no imaginary friend: she was the "other" who drove her to check on her sleeping sister several times a night, wash her hands to rawness, and mentally repeat elaborate "prayer[s]." She existed to ensure that Bailey carried out rituals as "protection against everything going wrong" and make up for all her real and imagined mistakes, from killing someone with a thought to spreading deadly disease. As Bailey grew up, her secret "other" became increasingly exacting and onerous: "she [was] a banshee…a spoiled child demanding the whole of me." By the time the author was an adolescent, her "double" made her recite long strings of letters in her head, each of which stood for the first letter of an action (such as staring) or a thing (such as bad breath) for which she sought retribution. Bailey finally revealed her list-making habit to a school doctor, who referred her to a psychiatrist named Dr. Finch. Intensive therapy helped the author free herself from her "other," whom she then "replaced" with her doctor. Determined to free herself from dependence on Dr. Finch, the author severed their connection and stopped taking medication after leaving England to attend college in Ireland. The result was a first term characterized by heavy drinking, shoplifting, and attempted suicide. Only after returning to London to face her demons and work through transference issues with her psychiatrist was Bailey finally able to find relief from her overactive mind and the underlying anxiety that had defined her life. In her courageous book, the author offers compelling insight into the pain and destructive power of OCD as well as the resilience of a young woman determined to beat the odds.A harrowingly honest memoir of profound psychological struggle.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940170327225
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 04/03/2018
Edition description: Unabridged
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