100 Questions You'd Never Ask Your Parents: Straight Answers to Teens' Questions About Sex, Sexuality, and Health

by Elisabeth Henderson, Nancy Armstrong

Overview

Teens have questions about sex. This simple manual answers their questions--honestly, simply, and reliably.

What does an orgasm feel like?

Does masturbating have any long-term negative effects?

Does alcohol kill brain cells?

Teens have questions about sex; it's a matter of who they ask and how reliable the answers are. Collected directly from teens and presented in a simple and accessible Q&A format, Elisabeth Henderson and Dr. Nancy Armstrong's 100 QUESTIONS YOU'D NEVER ASK YOUR PARENTS provides information about sex, drug, body, and mood in a way that's honest, nonjudgmental, and responsible.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781596438699
Publisher:	Roaring Brook Press
Publication date:	03/26/2024
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	161
Lexile:	1050L (what's this?)
File size:	357 KB
Age Range:	14 - 17 Years

About the Author

Elisabeth Henderson is an educator with over a decade's experience teaching tweens and teens. She has degrees in psychology and education and is the mother of two boys.

Dr. Nancy Armstrong is a practicing OB/GYN with thirty-five years of experience. After having two children at a young age, she put herself through college and medical school, graduating from both with honors. She enjoys volunteering and spending time with family.

Read an Excerpt

100 Questions You'd Never Ask Your Parents

Straight Answers to Teens' Questions About Sex, Sexuality, and Health

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By Elisabeth Henderson, Nancy Armstrong

Roaring Brook Press

Copyright © 2013 Elisabeth Henderson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-59643-869-9

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CHAPTER 1

1

What does an orgasm feel like?

You've asked one of the most common questions teens have, so be assured you're not alone in wondering.

An orgasm is the emotional and physical sensations that are felt at the end of sexual arousal when built-up muscle tension in the body is released. Put simply, it is the climax of the sensations that have been brought about by sexual excitement. Having an orgasm is also sometimes called "cumming."

If you ask ten people what an orgasm feels like, you might get ten different answers because orgasms are unique to each person. For some people, an orgasm involves the whole body — the heart races, the person may vocalize sounds or words, the muscles throughout the body may twitch, breathing can be heavy, and the person may feel flushed. For others, the feeling is more concentrated and remains in the areas of the vagina or penis. Although an orgasm will feel different to each person, it is a pleasurable feeling and often associated with euphoria and excitement. It has been described as feeling like a very strong tingling, pleasant and pulsating muscle contractions, or a warm throbbing.

2

When I have sex the first time, will people be able to tell?

No. Although you may feel like everybody knows, they likely won't. You won't look any different, and there will be no outward physical signs that you've had sex. You may, however, feel differently because having sex for the first time is such a big decision, both emotionally and physically. Unless you act differently, however, it is unlikely that anybody will know.

3

Can a girl get pregnant even if she doesn't orgasm?

Absolutely. A girl can get pregnant whether or not she has an orgasm. That a girl can avoid getting pregnant by not having an orgasm is one of the biggest myths among teens. An orgasm, or lack of one, does not affect whether or not a girl can become pregnant.

What does affect a girl's ability to get pregnant is whether or not she is ovulating. Once a month a girl ovulates, which means her body releases an egg. If the egg is fertilized with a guy's sperm, it may eventually develop into a baby. The timing of the release of the egg (ovulation) is based upon the girl's menstrual cycle, or period.

Remember, lack of an orgasm has no effect on whether or not an egg is released. So, yes, a girl can get pregnant even if she doesn't orgasm.

4

What is a wet dream?

A wet dream is an erotic dream that ends in orgasm and ejaculation. Wet dreams occur most frequently during a guy's teen and early adult years and are completely involuntary. Some guys wake up as they are ejaculating while others sleep right through it. Wet dreams are common and are no cause for concern; many guys experience them as they go through puberty.

Girls also experience wet dreams, though the percentage of girls who do is lower than the percentage of guys who do. Of the girls who do have wet dreams, many tend to have them less frequently than guys. A girl who has a wet dream will wake up feeling like she just experienced an orgasm, or may wake up in the middle of the orgasm, and will likely have increased wetness or vaginal secretions.

Some guys, and even more girls, never experience wet dreams. Whether you do or don't, wet dreams are a normal part of growing up.

5

How old do I have to be to buy condoms?

There is no age restriction on buying condoms; a person of any age can buy them. Condoms can be purchased at most grocery stores, drugstores, and convenience stores. A pharmacist can discreetly answer any questions you have about them.

6

At what age do people usually start having sex?

The answer might be higher than you think. The average age that U.S. teens start having sex is 17, with the majority of high school students not having sex at all (53%).

The age that most teens start having sex and the age that someone is ready to start having sex can be two very different things. Only you can determine the right time for you, and it's an important decision. Question 30 (How will I know when I'm ready to have sex?) may help you decide when it is the right time for you.

7

Am I still a virgin if I use a tampon?

Yes. A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse. Until you do, you're a virgin; using a tampon doesn't change that.

Why does this question get asked so often? Virgin girls often have an intact hymen, which is a very thin and flexible membrane that stretches across the opening of the vagina, partially covering it. Some people mistakenly think that a girl loses her virginity if her hymen breaks. Very occasionally, tampon use can break a girl's hymen. (Masturbation, sports, horseback riding, and other physical activities can also break the hymen.) Using a tampon, even if it were to break the hymen, does not mean a girl isn't a virgin. The only way for a girl to lose her virginity is to have sex.

8

Can a girl get pregnant if she has sex during her period?

Yes. While it's rare for a girl to get pregnant during her period, she absolutely could. Usually a girl's period occurs about 14 days after she ovulates. However, if she has a short menstrual cycle and long periods, sometimes ovulation (when a girl releases an egg) can overlap with her period. If it does, she would be fertile during her period, and if she had sex, she could get pregnant.

Also keep in mind that bleeding is not always due to a menstrual period. Sometimes girls experience small amounts of bleeding during ovulation, as the egg is released and travels down the fallopian tube. This bleeding can be mistaken for a period, but is actually when a girl is most fertile. Remember, unprotected sex at any time is a risk, even during your period. It is always better to use protection and be safe.

9

I haven't hit puberty yet. What's wrong with me?

Puberty isn't a science, and going through it is different for everyone. Some people start early, some start late; some go through it quickly and for others it feels like it takes forever. The good news is that all these differences, while a cause of worry for many teens, are completely normal.

There is no exact age when guys and girls start puberty. Generally speaking, however, girls start puberty between the ages 8 and 13 and guys start a little later, between 9 and 14 (although it can be earlier or later for both groups). For teens who start puberty late, waiting can be difficult but it is not a reason to worry. "Late bloomers," as they are sometimes called, are almost always healthy.

The age that a person starts puberty is generally dependent on genetics. A girl who develops later may find out that other people in her family also developed later than usual. There are other factors, however, that can cause a small percentage of teens to have delayed development. These factors include chronic illness, malnourishment, or problems with the pituitary or thyroid glands. If you have concerns, talking to a parent or doctor can be a good way to relieve your worries and ensure that you are developing normally.

10

What's the difference between an orgasm and ejaculation?

People often use the terms "orgasm" and "ejaculation" interchangeably, but they are very different things.

An orgasm is the release of built-up muscle tension in the body that is a result of sexual arousal. Involuntary actions — such as quick cycles of pleasurable muscle spasms, vocalizations, and euphoria — are often associated with having an orgasm. Guys and girls both experience orgasms.

Ejaculation is when semen is ejected from a guy's penis. A guy almost always ejaculates when he has an orgasm. Additionally, a guy could ejaculate without having an orgasm (though this is not common) or have an orgasm without ejaculating. (This can occur in pre-pubescent boys who don't yet produce semen.) Most often, however, orgasm and ejaculation occur together in guys.

What about girls? Do they ejaculate? Girls definitely experience orgasms and all the muscle spasms and pleasurable feelings that are part of them. Many people say they don't ejaculate and that any wetness that is present during sex is just lubrication that the body makes to accommodate the penis going into the vagina. Others say that girls do ejaculate and that when they do, noticeably more clear fluid comes out of the urethra (fluid that is not urine). No explanation has been given for where this fluid comes from, and whether or not girls "ejaculate" is still undetermined.

11

Do a guy's balls really "drop" during puberty?

Contrary to popular belief, a guy's balls (or testicles or testes) do not "drop" during puberty. They actually descend into the scrotum just before birth, so they are there the entire time.

A guy's testicles grow throughout his childhood, but they begin to grow faster during puberty. As they grow bigger and longer, they look more prominent and hang lower, overall. This is why some people say they "drop" during puberty. Some guys' testicles will grow a lot, while others' will not. There is a wide range of normal sizes — just as guys grow to be many different heights. Also, while a guy's two testicles usually grow to be the same size, it's not uncommon for one to be slightly bigger than the other, or for one to hang slightly lower than the other one.

12

Can a guy wear a condom during oral sex?

Absolutely, and it is important for both partners that he do so. Sexually transmitted diseases such as hepatitis B, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV, and herpes can all be spread through oral sex. The best way to reduce the risk of infection is to reduce your exposure, so be smart and be protected. A guy should wear a non-lubricated condom when receiving oral sex; the lubrication that comes on some condoms is not something you'd want to taste or ingest.

13

Is my penis a normal size?

Every guy has a different-sized penis, and all sizes are normal; there is generally no "abnormal" when it comes to penis size. If one guy's eyes are blue and another guy's are brown, both are "normal," they're just different. It's the same with penises. Even so, penis size is still a big concern for many guys, in part because over the years the size of an average penis has been greatly exaggerated. The true, average length of an erect penis in an adult male is between 5 and 6 inches.

14

Will condoms protect me from all diseases?

When used correctly, condoms are an important and highly effective barrier to the spread of chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). However, condoms are only as good as the people who use them, so they are not foolproof. They can fail due to human error, breakage, and inconsistent or incorrect use.

While condoms are effective in preventing STDs that are transmitted by fluid or skin-to-skin contact, not all areas of contact get covered by a condom. If your partner has open sores that are not covered by the condom (from genital warts, syphilis, or herpes, for example) the diseases can still be spread to you. Additionally, condoms made from sheepskin are inadequate in preventing the spread of HIV and other viruses because they have natural pores that the viruses can pass through.

Thus, while latex condoms are an effective protection against the spread of diseases, there is still a risk any time you have sex.

15

Can I get HIV from kissing? From oral sex?

Medical experts agree that under most circumstances, you can't become infected with HIV through casual kissing. While saliva does contain HIV, it only contains very small concentrations and not enough to transfer the infection. Therefore, casual kissing, such as on the cheek or with a closed mouth, is considered low risk.

While the exchange of saliva alone poses very little risk, if an infected person's saliva has blood in it, there is a definite risk of transmitting HIV. If both partners have cuts or sores on their lips, mouth, or gums (even if they are not readily visible), there is a risk that HIV could be transferred through blood contact. This risk has resulted in the Centers for Disease Control recommending against open-mouth kissing with an infected partner.

Giving or receiving oral sex can result in either partner becoming infected with HIV. So if the person giving oral sex has HIV, it can be transmitted to the receiving person. And if the receiving person has HIV, it can be transmitted to the person performing the oral sex. Although using a condom during oral sex reduces the risk of transferring HIV, having oral sex with an infected partner, even with a condom, poses a real and significant risk.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from 100 Questions You'd Never Ask Your Parents by Elisabeth Henderson, Nancy Armstrong. Copyright © 2013 Elisabeth Henderson. Excerpted by permission of Roaring Brook Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Title Page,
Copyright Notice,
Dedication,
Foreword,
Author Note,
1 What does an orgasm feel like?,
2 When I have sex the first time, will people be able to tell?,
3 Can a girl get pregnant even if she doesn't orgasm?,
4 What is a wet dream?,
5 How old do I have to be to buy condoms?,
6 At what age do people usually start having sex?,
7 Am I still a virgin if I use a tampon?,
8 Can a girl get pregnant if she has sex during her period?,
9 I haven't hit puberty yet. What's wrong with me?,
10 What's the difference between an orgasm and ejaculation?,
11 Do a guy's balls really "drop" during puberty?,
12 Can a guy wear a condom during oral sex?,
13 Is my penis a normal size?,
14 Will condoms protect me from all diseases?,
15 Can I get HIV from kissing? From oral sex?,
16 How can I get free and confidential STD testing?,
17 What's the best birth control?,
18 Does douching after sex prevent pregnancy?,
19 What are the first signs of puberty?,
20 Does alcohol really kill brain cells?,
21 What is pre-ejaculate?,
22 My breasts are two different sizes. Is this normal?,
23 What is a cold sore?,
24 Where can I get confidential answers to my questions about sex?,
25 How much semen is there when a guy ejaculates?,
26 Are depression and being sad the same thing?,
27 What is oral sex?,
28 Is it normal to get an erection for no reason at all?,
29 Is smoking safe if I don't inhale?,
30 How will I know when I'm ready to have sex?,
31 Are tampons less safe than pads?,
32 What are anorexia and bulimia?,
33 Can a virgin get an STD?,
34 How do I bring up using a condom with my partner?,
35 Does the first time hurt?,
36 How do I tell my boyfriend (or girlfriend) that I'm not ready for sex?,
37 How old do I have to be to get birth control?,
38 How can I tell if a guy is a virgin?,
39 Can STDs ever be completely gotten rid of?,
40 What does a circumcised penis look like? An uncircumcised one?,
41 With all the condoms out there, how can I know which one to pick?,
42 How do I put a condom on?,
43 What is the G-spot?,
44 What can I do if I just had unprotected sex?,
45 Do all girls bleed the first time they have sex?,
46 I'm pregnant. What do I do now?,
47 What does a vagina look like? A penis?,
48 My friend thinks she's gay. What should I say?,
49 Can a girl get pregnant even if the penis doesn't enter her vagina?,
50 What is a hickey?,
51 How do steroids work?,
52 What does "sexual orientation" mean?,
53 One of my testicles hangs lower than the other. Is this normal?,
54 What is this discharge that sometimes comes from my penis (or vagina)?,
55 My mom tried drugs once, so why shouldn't I?,
56 Do I have to swallow?,
57 What is the morning-after pill?,
58 How do you kiss?,
59 What is anal sex?,
60 I'm unsure about my sexual orientation. What do I do?,
61 What's the best way to prevent catching an STD?,
62 What makes a penis get erect?,
63 What's a clitoris and is it important?,
64 Do girls ejaculate?,
65 How often do people have sex?,
66 If I talk to my doctor about having sex, will he or she tell my parents?,
67 Does the withdrawal method of birth control work?,
68 How do I tell my mom or dad that I'm ready to have sex?,
69 What is a French kiss?,
70 How can I ask my partner to get tested for STDs?,
71 Does masturbating have any long-term, negative effects?,
72 Does the size of a guy's foot really predict his penis size?,
73 Are my labia normal?,
74 Does drinking a beer get you less drunk than drinking a shot of liquor?,
75 What is an aphrodisiac?,
76 People bully me. What can I do?,
77 What is the difference between HIV and AIDS?,
78 I've thought seriously about suicide. What should I do?,
79 How much can I drink before I shouldn't drive?,
80 Which helps cure a hangover faster—aspirin or coffee?,
81 What does "popping the cherry" mean?,
82 My vagina has a certain odor. Is this normal?,
83 How can I prevent premature ejaculation?,
84 Can a guy who hasn't gone through puberty ejaculate?,
85 What is cunnilingus?,
86 What do I say to my friend to help her stop cutting herself?,
87 My breasts are lumpy. Is this normal?,
88 She can't get pregnant, so do I need to wear a condom when having anal sex?,
89 Is it OK to go out with my friend's ex if my friend was the one who dumped the person?,
90 Why do my parents always tell me to wait before having sex?,
91 How do I come out to my parents?,
92 Where can I get free birth control?,
93 How many times can a girl orgasm during sex? A guy?,
94 I've heard that pot isn't as dangerous as some other drugs … true or false?,
95 How do I use a female condom?,
96 Does a guy have to go to a special doctor like a girl does?,
97 I said "no" to sex and my partner didn't stop. What do I do now?,
98 Can a girl get pregnant if a guy ejaculates next to her in a pool?,
99 Can I really die from huffing?,
100 How long does sex usually last?,
Notes,
Glossary,
Index,
Copyright,