Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues
496Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues
496Paperback(5th ed.)
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Overview
This completely revised and updated fifth edition of the award-winning Divorce with Decency includes the most current research, statistics, and insights on the effects of divorce on spouses, their children, and society overall. Written by a prominent divorce lawyer with four decades of experience, it is the most comprehensive treatment of the legal, emotional, economic, psychological, and social aspects of romantic relationships, marriage, and divorce available anywhere in a single volume. Initial sections look at the dynamics of divorce: the causal factors, the common "stages" from initial separation onward, and the complications surrounding each stage for older and younger couples and children. Important information on spouse abuse is also included. The book discusses key criteria in selecting an attorney and gives expert advice on directing and monitoring the course of a case efficiently and economically. Detailed background on critical legal issues is given, followed by case histories highlighting key points of divorce law. Extensive new sections have been added to this edition, which provide key tips on preserving, improving, and possibly "saving" marriages. Other special chapters focus on post-divorce issues of single parenthood and new relationships, as well as the evolving laws on same-sex marriage and the rapidly changing nature of love, romance, "digital dating," and other topics in this modern New Millennium. Informative yet highly readable (and occasionally amusing) Divorce with Decency has proven to be indispensable to anyone involved in a divorce, whether directly or indirectly.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780824867355 |
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Publisher: | University of Hawaii Press, The |
Publication date: | 05/31/2017 |
Edition description: | 5th ed. |
Pages: | 496 |
Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d) |
About the Author
Bradley A. Coates, Esq., founder of Coates and Frey, Hawai'i's largest divorce law firm, now serves as Of Counsel to the firm. He is a popular author and lecturer on human and romantic relationships and the "Dynamics of Divorce." Mr. Coates has been named one of Hawai'i's "Super Lawyers" and selected as "Best Divorce Lawyer" by readers of Honolulu Weekly and Honolulu Magazine. He is a graduate of UCLA School of Law and a member of the Hawai'i and California State Bars.
Table of Contents
Preface xiii
Acknowledgments xxiii
Chapter 1 The Need for Divorce with Decency 1
Divorce Hawaiian Style 3
Chapter 2 Some Basic Background 5
A Brief History of the "Institution" of Marriage 7
Where Has the All-American Family Gone? 14
Some Scary and Saddening Statistics 25
Can Your Marriage Be Saved? 31
Understanding the Basic Biological Differences between Men and Women 38
Choosing the Correct "Mate" for You 46
Key Tips on Preserving and Improving Your Marriage 49
Chapter 3 The Dynamics of Divorce 61
Causal Factors 63
Sociological Factors 66
Changing Family Structures 68
The Women's Movement 72
The Rise of the "Sheconomy" 76
Money: Dual-Income Families 81
Awareness of Abuse 88
Sex 91
Affairs/Infidelity 106
The Impact of Social Media 130
Psychological Factors and Fallout 135
Common Phases of Divorce 135
Predictable Emotional Way Stations 136
Periods of Promiscuity and Personal Sexual Revolutions 136
Separation: The Beginning of the End? 138
Divorcing Couples 139
The Uncoupling Process 143
The Women 146
Older Women 151
Younger Women 153
The Men 156
Older Men 161
Younger Men 166
The Economics of Divorce 169
Chapter 4 Kids IN Crisis 175
The Children of Divorce 178
Boys 182
Girls 184
Different Ages = Different Impacts 186
Infants and Toddlers 186
Grade School and Early Childhood 187
Adolescence 189
Post-Adolescence 193
Adult Children Hurt Too 195
Custody and Visitation Arrangements 196
Chapter 5 Into the Courtroom 201
Hot Tips on How to Process Your Divorce Economically and Efficiently 202
Attorney Selection 204
Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) 212
Chapter 6 The Legal Issues 216
Grounds for Divorce 217
Separation 219
Annulment 221
Residency 222
Jurisdiction 223
Orders for Temporary Relief / the Discovery Process 227
Property Division Guidelines 230
Specific Property Settlement Items 231
Classifications and Allocations of Marital Property 232
How Marital Property Is Divided 234
Real Property 235
Pensions and Retirement Plans 239
Bank and Other Accounts 241
Debts 241
Final Settlement and Equalization Payments 243
Attorneys' Fees 244
Taxes 245
Alimony 249
Custody 253
Sole Custody 254
Joint Custody 256
Joint Legal Custody 256
Joint Physical Custody 257
Visitation 261
Contested Custody 263
Interstate Custody and Relocation Cases 269
Child Support 271
Medical Insurance 275
Issues in Military Divorces 276
Resumption of Maiden Name 277
Premarital Agreements 278
Spouse Abuse and Domestic Violence 282
Paternity 286
Common-Law Marriage and Palimony 288
Same-Sex Marriage 290
Chapter 7 Case Histories, Anecdotes, and War Stories 296
Reports from the Front 299
A Murderous Divorce 299
The Forged P-Note 302
Cross-Border Child Custody Cases Get Complicated 303
Drunk Dialing Costs Custody 305
And They All Fall Down 307
Divorce and Rape 308
Custody Protection Is Paramount in Paternity Cases 309
Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers 311
Drugs, Dishonesty, and Divorce 314
Divorce and Bankruptcy 316
A Care Home Gets Carelessly Conveyed 317
Separation ≠ Divorce … Otherwise It's 'Til Death Do Us Part 319
The Man Who Was Almost a Bigamist 320
I May Be Divorced, but I Want to Stay in America 323
Pandora's Box 325
Not Everything Is as It Seems 327
Chapter 8 Life after Divorce 329
"Gray" Divorces 331
How Baby Boomers Behave 333
The Single Parent 336
New Romances and New Relationships 338
The Continuing Cohabitation Option 339
Facing Your Family 342
Refinding Your Friends 343
Remarriage 344
Singlehood … Preferred Permanently?!? 348
Tying (Or Re-Tying) the Knot: Some Pros and Cons 350
A Plethora of New Mating Options 356
Some Pros and Cons Of Parenthood 366
To (Re)Wed or Not to Wed? The Legal and Economic Issues 377
Stepfamilies 382
Relations between Former Spouses 385
Chapter 9 Conclusions, Predictions, and Prognostications 386
Impacts and Aftershocks for the Divorcing Parties 388
Men 390
Women 396
The Millennial: Their New Modern Mindset 400
A Sneak Peek at the Upcoming Z Generation 405
Divorce in America (and around the World): Some Future Trends 407
Upheavals in American Households 413
Modern Trends in New Millennium Relationships 415
Some Final Miscellaneous Factoids Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 420
Is Marriage Dead? 428
Societal Impact: The Long-Term Implications of Divorce in America 438
Appendix I More Clever Quotes Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 447
Appendix II The Author's Personal Compilation of Some Key Inspirational Sayings 455
Glossary 459
Selected Bibliography 463