Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues

Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues

by Bradley A. Coates
Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues

Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues

by Bradley A. Coates

Paperback(5th ed.)

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Overview

This completely revised and updated fifth edition of the award-winning Divorce with Decency includes the most current research, statistics, and insights on the effects of divorce on spouses, their children, and society overall. Written by a prominent divorce lawyer with four decades of experience, it is the most comprehensive treatment of the legal, emotional, economic, psychological, and social aspects of romantic relationships, marriage, and divorce available anywhere in a single volume. Initial sections look at the dynamics of divorce: the causal factors, the common "stages" from initial separation onward, and the complications surrounding each stage for older and younger couples and children. Important information on spouse abuse is also included. The book discusses key criteria in selecting an attorney and gives expert advice on directing and monitoring the course of a case efficiently and economically. Detailed background on critical legal issues is given, followed by case histories highlighting key points of divorce law. Extensive new sections have been added to this edition, which provide key tips on preserving, improving, and possibly "saving" marriages. Other special chapters focus on post-divorce issues of single parenthood and new relationships, as well as the evolving laws on same-sex marriage and the rapidly changing nature of love, romance, "digital dating," and other topics in this modern New Millennium. Informative yet highly readable (and occasionally amusing) Divorce with Decency has proven to be indispensable to anyone involved in a divorce, whether directly or indirectly.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780824867355
Publisher: University of Hawaii Press, The
Publication date: 05/31/2017
Edition description: 5th ed.
Pages: 496
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Bradley A. Coates, Esq., founder of Coates and Frey, Hawai'i's largest divorce law firm, now serves as Of Counsel to the firm. He is a popular author and lecturer on human and romantic relationships and the "Dynamics of Divorce." Mr. Coates has been named one of Hawai'i's "Super Lawyers" and selected as "Best Divorce Lawyer" by readers of Honolulu Weekly and Honolulu Magazine. He is a graduate of UCLA School of Law and a member of the Hawai'i and California State Bars.

Table of Contents

Preface xiii

Acknowledgments xxiii

Chapter 1 The Need for Divorce with Decency 1

Divorce Hawaiian Style 3

Chapter 2 Some Basic Background 5

A Brief History of the "Institution" of Marriage 7

Where Has the All-American Family Gone? 14

Some Scary and Saddening Statistics 25

Can Your Marriage Be Saved? 31

Understanding the Basic Biological Differences between Men and Women 38

Choosing the Correct "Mate" for You 46

Key Tips on Preserving and Improving Your Marriage 49

Chapter 3 The Dynamics of Divorce 61

Causal Factors 63

Sociological Factors 66

Changing Family Structures 68

The Women's Movement 72

The Rise of the "Sheconomy" 76

Money: Dual-Income Families 81

Awareness of Abuse 88

Sex 91

Affairs/Infidelity 106

The Impact of Social Media 130

Psychological Factors and Fallout 135

Common Phases of Divorce 135

Predictable Emotional Way Stations 136

Periods of Promiscuity and Personal Sexual Revolutions 136

Separation: The Beginning of the End? 138

Divorcing Couples 139

The Uncoupling Process 143

The Women 146

Older Women 151

Younger Women 153

The Men 156

Older Men 161

Younger Men 166

The Economics of Divorce 169

Chapter 4 Kids IN Crisis 175

The Children of Divorce 178

Boys 182

Girls 184

Different Ages = Different Impacts 186

Infants and Toddlers 186

Grade School and Early Childhood 187

Adolescence 189

Post-Adolescence 193

Adult Children Hurt Too 195

Custody and Visitation Arrangements 196

Chapter 5 Into the Courtroom 201

Hot Tips on How to Process Your Divorce Economically and Efficiently 202

Attorney Selection 204

Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) 212

Chapter 6 The Legal Issues 216

Grounds for Divorce 217

Separation 219

Annulment 221

Residency 222

Jurisdiction 223

Orders for Temporary Relief / the Discovery Process 227

Property Division Guidelines 230

Specific Property Settlement Items 231

Classifications and Allocations of Marital Property 232

How Marital Property Is Divided 234

Real Property 235

Pensions and Retirement Plans 239

Bank and Other Accounts 241

Debts 241

Final Settlement and Equalization Payments 243

Attorneys' Fees 244

Taxes 245

Alimony 249

Custody 253

Sole Custody 254

Joint Custody 256

Joint Legal Custody 256

Joint Physical Custody 257

Visitation 261

Contested Custody 263

Interstate Custody and Relocation Cases 269

Child Support 271

Medical Insurance 275

Issues in Military Divorces 276

Resumption of Maiden Name 277

Premarital Agreements 278

Spouse Abuse and Domestic Violence 282

Paternity 286

Common-Law Marriage and Palimony 288

Same-Sex Marriage 290

Chapter 7 Case Histories, Anecdotes, and War Stories 296

Reports from the Front 299

A Murderous Divorce 299

The Forged P-Note 302

Cross-Border Child Custody Cases Get Complicated 303

Drunk Dialing Costs Custody 305

And They All Fall Down 307

Divorce and Rape 308

Custody Protection Is Paramount in Paternity Cases 309

Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers 311

Drugs, Dishonesty, and Divorce 314

Divorce and Bankruptcy 316

A Care Home Gets Carelessly Conveyed 317

Separation ≠ Divorce … Otherwise It's 'Til Death Do Us Part 319

The Man Who Was Almost a Bigamist 320

I May Be Divorced, but I Want to Stay in America 323

Pandora's Box 325

Not Everything Is as It Seems 327

Chapter 8 Life after Divorce 329

"Gray" Divorces 331

How Baby Boomers Behave 333

The Single Parent 336

New Romances and New Relationships 338

The Continuing Cohabitation Option 339

Facing Your Family 342

Refinding Your Friends 343

Remarriage 344

Singlehood … Preferred Permanently?!? 348

Tying (Or Re-Tying) the Knot: Some Pros and Cons 350

A Plethora of New Mating Options 356

Some Pros and Cons Of Parenthood 366

To (Re)Wed or Not to Wed? The Legal and Economic Issues 377

Stepfamilies 382

Relations between Former Spouses 385

Chapter 9 Conclusions, Predictions, and Prognostications 386

Impacts and Aftershocks for the Divorcing Parties 388

Men 390

Women 396

The Millennial: Their New Modern Mindset 400

A Sneak Peek at the Upcoming Z Generation 405

Divorce in America (and around the World): Some Future Trends 407

Upheavals in American Households 413

Modern Trends in New Millennium Relationships 415

Some Final Miscellaneous Factoids Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 420

Is Marriage Dead? 428

Societal Impact: The Long-Term Implications of Divorce in America 438

Appendix I More Clever Quotes Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 447

Appendix II The Author's Personal Compilation of Some Key Inspirational Sayings 455

Glossary 459

Selected Bibliography 463

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